Today's issue, however, is one I feel comfortable deciding -- appointment of a national spiritual advisor. Here are the candidates:
1. Catholic Archbishop Hack Silk: boasts an excellent track record, having rapidly increased church attendances in his constituencies through the "Reaching God Through Guilt" program. Seen as a solid choice.
2. New Age thinker Al O'Bannon: a left-field candidate with some radical ideas. "For me, it's not about the name of your religion. It's about discovering your spirituality in whatever guise that takes. Some people call that a cult: I call it taking spirituality to the people."
3. Finally, there's Colin Dredd. "If I am awarded the appointment, I will immediately resign," the ex-schoolteacher has declared. "Because, frankly, God is a big load of hokey. I'll be doing everyone a favor by just shutting up about it."
Despite the Wombat Wicca appeal of candidate #3, I'm choosing candidate #2 -- it's nice to have an issue that's easy for me to decide -- I'm still wrestling with my feelings on the other ones . . .