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"Paging Mr. H. Potter -- Parseltongue translator needed on Flight . . . " - Persephone Yavanna the Entwife

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September 1st, 2006


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11:31 pm - "Paging Mr. H. Potter -- Parseltongue translator needed on Flight . . . "


Harry Potter & Snakes on a Plane


After harvesting my peaches in the afternoon, I met with a friend to see "Snakes on a Plane". I'd been hearing stuff about it for quite a while and the buzz was good.

I went into the theater expecting a so-bad-it's-good Plan-9-from-Outer-Space kind of movie, but what I got was a romp of a film. Yes there was cheesy dialogue, but it was sublimely so. ("This plane is going down faster than a Thai hooker" and "Time is tissue" are but two of the examples I could quote, besides the film's well-known tag-line.) There were hilarious characters and situations, including a rapper with a germ-phobia that put Howard Hughes to shame, a blonde ditz with a Tiny Terror of a chihuahua, video-game-addict bodyguards and a male flight attendant who was Absolutely Fabulous.

There was plenty of action too, and not just of the slithering kind either. There was lots of eye-candy to enjoy, mainly male (YAY!!!!!!!) -- hot Asian kickboxers and villains with abs of steel, surfer boyz who were Too Cute To Live and a Mile-High-Club scene that was To Die For.

OMG -- Teh Hotness!!!!

Even the snakes got into the action -- there was a mating-ball scene with flowers where I'm sure I heard a hissed "Wanna good lei?"

The snakes were pretty good too, although I could tell pretty easily which were real and which were CGI -- for one thing, a lot of the fakes didn't move right and their scales were too-perfect-looking.

I have a slight advantage though in recognizing the fake snakes, since I've kept snakes on and off for years, from my first garter snake that my Daddy found in the garden and gave me to red-tail boas and ball pythons. I've even handled cobras on several occasions while in India.

All in all though, I'd have to give this a rating of 5 out of 5 Cheezy Poofs. I can't wait for this to come out on DVD so I can buy it. Given how rarely I buy a movie on DVD, that's one hell of a rave from me.

By the by, there's a great crack!fic Potterverse/Snakes on a Plane crossover called Serpent in the Ministry I enjoyed quite a bit. It's a Harry/Tom -- ahhhhhhh Parseltongue, the Language of Love . . .

”Belinda, you won’t believe who it is! It’s that cute viper from the herpetology lab. He was at the milking last week. Let’s go say ‘hi!’ ”

”What on earth is that human man wearing on his feet? If I didn’t know better, I would say that looked just like… oh my god, is that…Frank? Frank! Noooooooo!”



Afraid to fly snake


Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: "Rattlesnake" -- Rafe Stefanini

(Eat a pomegranate)


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